This idea no longer lets go of me. I stand rooted to the spot fixed, motionless and overwhelmed. It is expected of me that I’m brave stand over it and to use it. Have believed I did it to me, so I’m with also, but now in this moment all my scars and controlled emotions have come to the surface. Without help or assistance, alone, abandoned by all. I was confronted with death, this is a topic I can not handle this, all my fears compose himself comprehended in this saying. As for his other today lost a family member, so I wanted to be, have totally failed. Could not speak out, helpless and insecure, I freed myself from my last freeze. I went up to the little that my sister is like. took her in his arms, stifling my tears which penetrated to the front, I wanted to be strong for her, someone who protects them. All these sad faces and the endless many tears, made it unbearable. Now that I’m at home and was able to calm myself again, I found that I should write more, it helps me to process all my losses because I think of them and I can smile here. It gives me such a good feeling, to push me out and be honest. Writing triggers in me the feeling of be free from, because only I decide what words come here alone and my creativity has run out without end. Today I realized how much we focus on things which are irrelevant anyway. Whether something is perfect or not, is always the observer. Our life is so short. We did not have the luxury to be picky, no, we should be happy with what we get and for fighting, which is our priority. I realized how many times I’ve been misconduct and would like from now live only in the moment, not yesterday, not tomorrow or not and enjoy it in two years, but now, as luck would have. People will not remember your decisions but did to your.
ps: No idea,what this translator speaks but I hope it’s not too bad.